Looking for a transfusion

Recently, I was at a deanery meeting for CCW. In four months, I will be finished with my presidency of our parish CCW. The deanery president asked what I was planning on doing. The deanery is looking for new officers, but this person and I grew up in the same parish, so our families know each other. I told her, "I'm going to just sit in a pew and do nothing like most people in our parish." She looked at me, and said, "No, you're not . That's not in your blood."

I think that is what bothers me, sitting around and being passive isn't in my blood. A lot of things have been happening in our parish lately. None of it is good. I've come to the conclusion that our parish is not very Christian. Believe me, everyone is to blame for the way our parish is acting from parishioners, to staff, to the pastor, to the bishop. I am really at the point, where I want no part of it. I would leave the parish but I have kids in the school, family history and there is a core community of good people. Part of me, so wants to sit and watch the destruction from a safe place. Part of me wants to fight and try to solve the problems. A large part of me is scared, that I won't sit back and not be involved. Instead I'll get myself embroiled in some ministry or project and again it will hurt when things go wary because of parish politics.

So, I need some kind of tranfusion. I need the blood of people who sit back and let everyone take care of them. I realize I am bucking the legacy of my ancestors, but maybe it is time to break the cycle of being an active participant. I need to get over the idea that if I am not helping solve the problem that means I am part of the problem. I've been to more than one spiritual event where the theme is "Yes, God." And we prayer for the wisdom and courage to say, "Yes" when God calls. Lately, I'm beginning to think maybe I need to say, "No" even when I think it is better to say "Yes."