Recently, I was at a deanery meeting for CCW. In four months, I will be finished with my presidency of our parish CCW. The deanery president asked what I was planning on doing. The deanery is looking for new officers, but this person and I grew up in the same parish, so our families know each other. I told her, "I'm going to just sit in a pew and do nothing like most people in our parish." She looked at me, and said, "No, you're not . That's not in your blood."
I think that is what bothers me, sitting around and being passive isn't in my blood. A lot of things have been happening in our parish lately. None of it is good. I've come to the conclusion that our parish is not very Christian. Believe me, everyone is to blame for the way our parish is acting from parishioners, to staff, to the pastor, to the bishop. I am really at the point, where I want no part of it. I would leave the parish but I have kids in the school, family history and there is a core community of good people. Part of me, so wants to sit and watch the destruction from a safe place. Part of me wants to fight and try to solve the problems. A large part of me is scared, that I won't sit back and not be involved. Instead I'll get myself embroiled in some ministry or project and again it will hurt when things go wary because of parish politics.
So, I need some kind of tranfusion. I need the blood of people who sit back and let everyone take care of them. I realize I am bucking the legacy of my ancestors, but maybe it is time to break the cycle of being an active participant. I need to get over the idea that if I am not helping solve the problem that means I am part of the problem. I've been to more than one spiritual event where the theme is "Yes, God." And we prayer for the wisdom and courage to say, "Yes" when God calls. Lately, I'm beginning to think maybe I need to say, "No" even when I think it is better to say "Yes."
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Why We are Like Pencils
Fifty percent of the time, I don't remember anything in the homily by the end of mass (I'm sorry but some priests really aren't speakers). I'm quite impressed when 2 weeks later I can remember a major part of the homily. On January 14th, Fr. Andy gave a great homily at the Boy Scout mass. Since I can still remember the main point, I thought it would be great to share.
Why We Are Like Pencils
1. A pencil is sharpened, and it will hurt. We are sharpened by our experiences and at times it will hurt.
2. The inside of the pencil is important. What is inside of us is what is important.
3. A pencil is useful when in someone's hands. We are in the hands of God.
4. A pencil always leaves it mark. We leave our mark with our actions.
5. A pencil comes with a big eraser. We have the ability to erase our marks and start over again.
I never knew how important a pencil was.
Why We Are Like Pencils
1. A pencil is sharpened, and it will hurt. We are sharpened by our experiences and at times it will hurt.
2. The inside of the pencil is important. What is inside of us is what is important.
3. A pencil is useful when in someone's hands. We are in the hands of God.
4. A pencil always leaves it mark. We leave our mark with our actions.
5. A pencil comes with a big eraser. We have the ability to erase our marks and start over again.
I never knew how important a pencil was.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Finding Women's Names
Our church women's group is honoring the women who have served as presidents of the organization over the years. We are fortunate that we have a large and active women's group in our parish. That group has been in existence since the beginning of the parish, although the name has changed. These women have served and a number of them still serve in leadership positions in our parish and community.
Until the last few years, everything the organization did was on paper. I am a computer person. We have moved to a computer system in the last few years. For the last ten years or so, we have been able to track who has been an officer and when. The only way to do that for the 70 prior years is to read through bulletins and meeting minutes. A task which seems daunting. So, I thought I would ask those women who are wiser and more experienced than I what years they served as officers in the organization. No one ever remembers. I'm beginning to think it's like childbirth, they just block those years out of their mind. Just like childbirth, being a leader in an organization has painful moments, but that is often outweighed by the feeling of fulfillment when a service project brings help to others, or the value of the friendships made along the way.
So, while I am amazed that no one can really remember when they were officers, I am saddened that we have several women without first names. Back in the 30s and 40s, women didn't have first names. They were referred to as Mrs. Michael Smith or Mrs. Joseph Jones. I realize it was the convention of the day, but I feel somewhat sad about these unnamed women. Of course, their names don't appear in print either. So, I'm on a quest to find the names of our first few presidents. Unfortunately, the parish database doesn't go back that far. I was talking to one of our older parishioners and she remembers some of the women because they were her mother's contemporaries. She couldn't remember their names either because she always referred to them as Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jones. That makes perfect sense to me, because moms don't have first names. I'm sure my kids don't realize the first names of some of my associates because they always call them Mrs. or Ms .
I like that my acknowledging these women who worked hard to build an organization and a parish are being recognized. I think many of the women like it also. I've seen several past presidents in the last few days, and they are almost giddy about a night honoring them. It's somewhat of a reminder that we all have a place in history. As I look at the names of women who proceeded me, I wonder what they were like and what was their lives like. It would be interesting to see if there was something all the women had in common besides the willingness to come forward and be a leader.
Until the last few years, everything the organization did was on paper. I am a computer person. We have moved to a computer system in the last few years. For the last ten years or so, we have been able to track who has been an officer and when. The only way to do that for the 70 prior years is to read through bulletins and meeting minutes. A task which seems daunting. So, I thought I would ask those women who are wiser and more experienced than I what years they served as officers in the organization. No one ever remembers. I'm beginning to think it's like childbirth, they just block those years out of their mind. Just like childbirth, being a leader in an organization has painful moments, but that is often outweighed by the feeling of fulfillment when a service project brings help to others, or the value of the friendships made along the way.
So, while I am amazed that no one can really remember when they were officers, I am saddened that we have several women without first names. Back in the 30s and 40s, women didn't have first names. They were referred to as Mrs. Michael Smith or Mrs. Joseph Jones. I realize it was the convention of the day, but I feel somewhat sad about these unnamed women. Of course, their names don't appear in print either. So, I'm on a quest to find the names of our first few presidents. Unfortunately, the parish database doesn't go back that far. I was talking to one of our older parishioners and she remembers some of the women because they were her mother's contemporaries. She couldn't remember their names either because she always referred to them as Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jones. That makes perfect sense to me, because moms don't have first names. I'm sure my kids don't realize the first names of some of my associates because they always call them Mrs. or Ms .
I like that my acknowledging these women who worked hard to build an organization and a parish are being recognized. I think many of the women like it also. I've seen several past presidents in the last few days, and they are almost giddy about a night honoring them. It's somewhat of a reminder that we all have a place in history. As I look at the names of women who proceeded me, I wonder what they were like and what was their lives like. It would be interesting to see if there was something all the women had in common besides the willingness to come forward and be a leader.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Vocation vs Job
The deacon at the Epiphany mass also requested that we encourage our children to consider the religious vocations of the priesthood, brotherhood, and sisterhood (Guess what? There is a collection next week for the vocations.). Again, my mind went off down another path. Why aren't we praying and encouraging our children to consider vocations in the ministries such as pastoral associates, liturgists, theologians, directors of religious education, etc. The number of people in the traditional religious vocations are dwindling. Wouldn't it make sense to also promote the lay ministries.
Honestly, I could see my daughters being a pastoral associate or liturgist much more than I can see them as a sister. Actually, I giggle somewhat when I think of my youngest daughter, who really wants to be a zookeeper, as a sister. I guess she could preach to the animals. Of course, this is the same child who argues each week that going to church is boring and there is no way for her to do something like the rest of us. She ends up going to church but she does have a valid point as a 2nd grader the homilies sure aren't geared to her, she's too young to be an altar server or in the choir. Maybe this is where we need to start promoting religious vocations by making the children a vital part of the community.
The other night I had a conversation with a few people in our parish about vocations and careers. Some of our parish staff (and they seem to be the ones in favor with the pastor) will mention how much they work and how little they are paid. I'm around the parish a lot. These people tend not to be around in the evenings or on Saturdays when parishioners aren't at their jobs. Their hours are really flexible especially if something is going on in their personal lives. Parishioners notice these things especially when parishioners are putting in 40-60 hours in the workplace, taking care of families, and then volunteering at the church.
Now, I have a job. I go to work for 8 hours each day and it is over. I knew once I had children that this is how I wanted to handle my work life. I asked one of the people I was talking to, if these professional lay ministers realize that they are in vocations. That in a vocation, you work when people need your assistance and your busy seasons happen to be at the holidays. Everyone participating in the discussion agreed that you know this, when you decide this is the path you are going to take. I worked in a university library. If I remained in that field, I knew that my workday would not be 9-5. I would probably have evening and weekend hours. I knew I would have to be there when students (my customers) would be there. Eventually, I decided I needed another path. That doesn't seem to happen at this parish. If parishioners really need staff assistance, they need to meet the hours of that staff person.
People with vocations are lucky. I realize sometimes they do work many hours and pay could be better. But these people are doing something they supposedly love. They are working in a field where there work does make a difference. Presently, I work in a job, that works better for my young family now. As my children get older, I can see myself changing paths again and going to a vocation. That vocation maybe secular or maybe a professional ministry position, but I expect it to be more personally rewarding than doing a job. And if I get to the point in my life where I do have a "vocation", I hope I remember to make myself available when needed and to offer my assistance rather than wait to be asked.
Honestly, I could see my daughters being a pastoral associate or liturgist much more than I can see them as a sister. Actually, I giggle somewhat when I think of my youngest daughter, who really wants to be a zookeeper, as a sister. I guess she could preach to the animals. Of course, this is the same child who argues each week that going to church is boring and there is no way for her to do something like the rest of us. She ends up going to church but she does have a valid point as a 2nd grader the homilies sure aren't geared to her, she's too young to be an altar server or in the choir. Maybe this is where we need to start promoting religious vocations by making the children a vital part of the community.
The other night I had a conversation with a few people in our parish about vocations and careers. Some of our parish staff (and they seem to be the ones in favor with the pastor) will mention how much they work and how little they are paid. I'm around the parish a lot. These people tend not to be around in the evenings or on Saturdays when parishioners aren't at their jobs. Their hours are really flexible especially if something is going on in their personal lives. Parishioners notice these things especially when parishioners are putting in 40-60 hours in the workplace, taking care of families, and then volunteering at the church.
Now, I have a job. I go to work for 8 hours each day and it is over. I knew once I had children that this is how I wanted to handle my work life. I asked one of the people I was talking to, if these professional lay ministers realize that they are in vocations. That in a vocation, you work when people need your assistance and your busy seasons happen to be at the holidays. Everyone participating in the discussion agreed that you know this, when you decide this is the path you are going to take. I worked in a university library. If I remained in that field, I knew that my workday would not be 9-5. I would probably have evening and weekend hours. I knew I would have to be there when students (my customers) would be there. Eventually, I decided I needed another path. That doesn't seem to happen at this parish. If parishioners really need staff assistance, they need to meet the hours of that staff person.
People with vocations are lucky. I realize sometimes they do work many hours and pay could be better. But these people are doing something they supposedly love. They are working in a field where there work does make a difference. Presently, I work in a job, that works better for my young family now. As my children get older, I can see myself changing paths again and going to a vocation. That vocation maybe secular or maybe a professional ministry position, but I expect it to be more personally rewarding than doing a job. And if I get to the point in my life where I do have a "vocation", I hope I remember to make myself available when needed and to offer my assistance rather than wait to be asked.
God's Gift
On the feast of the Epiphany, we got a homily on the importance of vocations. Vocations as in the priesthood, brotherhood and sisterhood. The deacon explained how on this weekend, the Archdiocese of Chicago is sending out the deacons to talk about the importance of religious vocations. This deacon seems like a truly nice guy. He talked about how the Archdiocese has given him the gifts of education, spiritual guidance, room/board, etc. He talked about how being a priest (in his case becoming a priest) was a gift.
Now, while he is talking, I'm thinking about how my mother would refer to someone who thought way too highly of themselves as people who thought they were "God's gift to the human race." My thought patterns tend to take odd little sideroads, so I'm sitting in the pew thinking, "There's the problem, priests think they are God's gift to the human race." It explains a lot. With men thinking so highly of themselves, it is easy to see how their is a problem with the abuse of power in the church. I'm not just thinking of scandals on the international and national level like sexual abuse, but things that happen every day. I see and hear priests order volunteers to do things rather then ask them to do things. I rarely hear priests say the magic words of "please" and "thank you". I know priests who expect you to celebrate the anniversary of the ordination and their birthdays, but these same priests don't respect their active parishioners enough to remember their names and who is in their family. But now, I know why, they are God's gifts to the human race. We seemed to have forgotten that God's greatest gift was a humble person, who served others, treated those who society frowned upon with respect, and who died so we may live.
Now, while he is talking, I'm thinking about how my mother would refer to someone who thought way too highly of themselves as people who thought they were "God's gift to the human race." My thought patterns tend to take odd little sideroads, so I'm sitting in the pew thinking, "There's the problem, priests think they are God's gift to the human race." It explains a lot. With men thinking so highly of themselves, it is easy to see how their is a problem with the abuse of power in the church. I'm not just thinking of scandals on the international and national level like sexual abuse, but things that happen every day. I see and hear priests order volunteers to do things rather then ask them to do things. I rarely hear priests say the magic words of "please" and "thank you". I know priests who expect you to celebrate the anniversary of the ordination and their birthdays, but these same priests don't respect their active parishioners enough to remember their names and who is in their family. But now, I know why, they are God's gifts to the human race. We seemed to have forgotten that God's greatest gift was a humble person, who served others, treated those who society frowned upon with respect, and who died so we may live.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Church/Religion Everywhere
It's just been one of those days where church and religion seem to pop up everywhere and sometimes in unexpected places.
I woke up this morning and heard a news report about a priest being prosecuted for taking funds from a parish to fund trips. Of course, I'm cynical, and immediately figured it was nothing new.
Then I had to publicize a program night at church that was going to be publicized via email and word of mouth. With December being so crazy with odd deadline for items for the Church Bulletin and all the other things that go with the month of December, I never even got our program night mentioned in the church bulletin. At our parish, it is not an easy thing either to get something in the bulletin. So, I've sort of been boycotting the bulletin also, because I can take the inefficiency of it.
Then after work, I had a drs. appt. I always take a book or something to do because I don't have the capacity to just sit. Right now, I am reading Good Catholic Girls: How Women Are Leading the Fight to Change the Church by Angela Bonavoglia. I put the book down when the doctor comes into the office. I have only seen this doctor 2 times in the last 12-18 months, so I don't really know her well. She sees the title and asks about the book. She was really interested in it. It was odd, because I just wasn't prepared to talk about the church while I was in the doctor's office.
Then I get home, and there are emails about the Girl Scout Religious Medals. Emails from a couple people. I teach a religious medal class and it is turning out to be an interesting experience. I'm sure it will come up in a later entry.
The best thing was that my youngest daughter had already finished her homework by the time I got home. She makes her first communion this year. We had a chance to do a few exercises in her gold communion book. She enjoys doing them and we had to sing Alleluia a few times. It's one of her favorite things to sing.
Finally, I decide to check email one last time, and our pastoral associate was very kind and passed along my email invitation for our program night to a whole bunch of people from both within and outside our parish. Staff at our parish aren't big on encouraging people to attend things unless it is one of their projects. So, it was so invigorating to see someone take an interest and encourage people to attend something.
So, its been a rather busy church life day, even though there was nothing big. Just a lot of small things that came together.
I woke up this morning and heard a news report about a priest being prosecuted for taking funds from a parish to fund trips. Of course, I'm cynical, and immediately figured it was nothing new.
Then I had to publicize a program night at church that was going to be publicized via email and word of mouth. With December being so crazy with odd deadline for items for the Church Bulletin and all the other things that go with the month of December, I never even got our program night mentioned in the church bulletin. At our parish, it is not an easy thing either to get something in the bulletin. So, I've sort of been boycotting the bulletin also, because I can take the inefficiency of it.
Then after work, I had a drs. appt. I always take a book or something to do because I don't have the capacity to just sit. Right now, I am reading Good Catholic Girls: How Women Are Leading the Fight to Change the Church by Angela Bonavoglia. I put the book down when the doctor comes into the office. I have only seen this doctor 2 times in the last 12-18 months, so I don't really know her well. She sees the title and asks about the book. She was really interested in it. It was odd, because I just wasn't prepared to talk about the church while I was in the doctor's office.
Then I get home, and there are emails about the Girl Scout Religious Medals. Emails from a couple people. I teach a religious medal class and it is turning out to be an interesting experience. I'm sure it will come up in a later entry.
The best thing was that my youngest daughter had already finished her homework by the time I got home. She makes her first communion this year. We had a chance to do a few exercises in her gold communion book. She enjoys doing them and we had to sing Alleluia a few times. It's one of her favorite things to sing.
Finally, I decide to check email one last time, and our pastoral associate was very kind and passed along my email invitation for our program night to a whole bunch of people from both within and outside our parish. Staff at our parish aren't big on encouraging people to attend things unless it is one of their projects. So, it was so invigorating to see someone take an interest and encourage people to attend something.
So, its been a rather busy church life day, even though there was nothing big. Just a lot of small things that came together.
Monday, January 1, 2007
O Holy Family and Feast Days of Obligation
Sunday was the feast of the Holy Family. I wonder if Jesus gave the same look to Mary and Joseph that my 12 year old gives to me whenever I ask a question. The look where they sigh, roll their eyes a bit, but not extremely, and maybe put one foot forward as if they are going to stomp their foot like a three year old. The kind of look that is produced when one asks "Is your homework done?"
As parents, we often struggle with the talents and possible futures of our children. We spend a lot of time (and money) encouraging our kids to find their interests and talents. We monitor their progress. Sometimes we have to give them a little push when we know that they can do something but they hold back. At other times, we have to slow them down, and nurture and develop their talent before they move on to the next level. There are those times when suddenly we witness our children come into their own with their talent. A sense of awe at what the child has accomplished is mixed with the realization that the child and their talent has moved beyond parental control.
Can you imagine how Mary and Joseph felt when they found Jesus in the temple once they got past that immediate fear of not being able to find a child? There had to be that sense of amazement that their child had taken huge step into his future. But at the same time, did Mary and Joseph also have that feeling that in a sense their child had outgrown them, and that they would not be able to protect him. They could be comforting and encouraging, but now the development of the talent was all within the hands of the child. It had to be one of those sometimes harsh moments of reality when you realize your baby is not ababy, and in this case, not even a child anymore.
Now, normally on Jan. 1st, we would attend mass because it is a Holy Day of Obligation. This rather new idea in the US Roman Catholic Church where if the Holy Day of Obligation is on a Monday, then you are not obliged to go to mass confuses and somewhat saddens me. I am more than willing to bet the decision was made based on church attendance and priests shortage. I just find it confusing to say these days are important, but not important if they fall on a Monday. Then I am confused by attending mass on Sunday, and focusing on the Feast of the Holy Family, and the Solemnity of Mary isn't mentioned. None of the hymns were even about Mary. Now, on the other hand, I would have felt bad if the focus was only the Solemnity of Mary and no mention of the Feast of the Holy Family was made.
So, my parish did offer 1 mass this morning for the Solemnity of Mary. I thought about going and didn't go, although if it was a real Holy Day of Obligation I would have gone. Normally, my parish offers 2 morning masses. Today there was only the one. It was at 10 am. Although I was up and even dressed, I just wasn't ready to go out, I was kind of enjoying the fact that I didn't have to get up and go to work this morning. I also wasn't up to dealing with the unorganization that would have accompanied mass. For some reason, our parish really doesn't prepare the added mass for a Holy Day of Obligation (usually they add a 7 pm mass). They don't assign or request ministers of the Word, Eucharistic Ministers and sometimes altar servers. If you ask the priest if they need Eucharistic Ministers, the priest usually has no idea, and they have no idea of how many they might need. It is always up to the ministers to go into the sacristy and check if help is needed. It's weird. Most of the time, it just seems like the attitude is "we added this mass for those of you who can't come in the morning, but we aren't putting any extra work into it." It's not like people don't attend, but I guess we are at fault because we can't make a 6:30 or 8:30 am mass (hard to do if you start work at 7:00 am). I really just need to find if a parish by work does one around the lunch hour. Probably not, I'm sure my parish isn't alone in acting the way that it does.
Happy 2007!
As parents, we often struggle with the talents and possible futures of our children. We spend a lot of time (and money) encouraging our kids to find their interests and talents. We monitor their progress. Sometimes we have to give them a little push when we know that they can do something but they hold back. At other times, we have to slow them down, and nurture and develop their talent before they move on to the next level. There are those times when suddenly we witness our children come into their own with their talent. A sense of awe at what the child has accomplished is mixed with the realization that the child and their talent has moved beyond parental control.
Can you imagine how Mary and Joseph felt when they found Jesus in the temple once they got past that immediate fear of not being able to find a child? There had to be that sense of amazement that their child had taken huge step into his future. But at the same time, did Mary and Joseph also have that feeling that in a sense their child had outgrown them, and that they would not be able to protect him. They could be comforting and encouraging, but now the development of the talent was all within the hands of the child. It had to be one of those sometimes harsh moments of reality when you realize your baby is not ababy, and in this case, not even a child anymore.
Now, normally on Jan. 1st, we would attend mass because it is a Holy Day of Obligation. This rather new idea in the US Roman Catholic Church where if the Holy Day of Obligation is on a Monday, then you are not obliged to go to mass confuses and somewhat saddens me. I am more than willing to bet the decision was made based on church attendance and priests shortage. I just find it confusing to say these days are important, but not important if they fall on a Monday. Then I am confused by attending mass on Sunday, and focusing on the Feast of the Holy Family, and the Solemnity of Mary isn't mentioned. None of the hymns were even about Mary. Now, on the other hand, I would have felt bad if the focus was only the Solemnity of Mary and no mention of the Feast of the Holy Family was made.
So, my parish did offer 1 mass this morning for the Solemnity of Mary. I thought about going and didn't go, although if it was a real Holy Day of Obligation I would have gone. Normally, my parish offers 2 morning masses. Today there was only the one. It was at 10 am. Although I was up and even dressed, I just wasn't ready to go out, I was kind of enjoying the fact that I didn't have to get up and go to work this morning. I also wasn't up to dealing with the unorganization that would have accompanied mass. For some reason, our parish really doesn't prepare the added mass for a Holy Day of Obligation (usually they add a 7 pm mass). They don't assign or request ministers of the Word, Eucharistic Ministers and sometimes altar servers. If you ask the priest if they need Eucharistic Ministers, the priest usually has no idea, and they have no idea of how many they might need. It is always up to the ministers to go into the sacristy and check if help is needed. It's weird. Most of the time, it just seems like the attitude is "we added this mass for those of you who can't come in the morning, but we aren't putting any extra work into it." It's not like people don't attend, but I guess we are at fault because we can't make a 6:30 or 8:30 am mass (hard to do if you start work at 7:00 am). I really just need to find if a parish by work does one around the lunch hour. Probably not, I'm sure my parish isn't alone in acting the way that it does.
Happy 2007!
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