Let's Start at the very Beginning

I was born during the years of the second Vatican Council (Vatican II). While I hate that this statement gives all readers a good guess at my age, it is somewhat important. As a youngster, I encountered a church that was changing. As a youngster, I was in a world that was changing. On the one hand you had the old thoughts and methods that were imparted by priests, sisters, older relatives. On the other hand, you had new views being presented by teachers, younger relatives and younger parents. Even though, I am now middle age (I hate that word), I still feel that I am often a confused Catholic.

As a child I attended a catholic grammar school. From 1st through 7th grade, I was taught by the Sisters of St. Casimir. They were stern looking Sisters who wore habits and lived in the convent above the school. Looking back at those years, I'm not even sure if my parish had heard of Vatican II. We had an iron handed pastor who seem to make all decisions single handily. The only ministries in the parish were the Holy Name Society, the Altar and Rosary Society, and the School Board. (At least that is all I remember). Only boys could be altar servers. Only girls from 5th - 8th grade could be in the choir.

I received a great education in this atmosphere. I also learned how to behave during mass. You didn't speak to others during mass. When you entered the church, you were to act as if you were a guest at a party. In this case, God was the host. You didn't read while in church. You participated in prayer. Participation was key. You sang the songs, you said the responses. You learned to lower the kneeler without making noise. You did all this because for some reason, you believed these sisters had no problems giving out punishments. Sometimes, the whole class could be punished for the actions of a person or two. Often punishment would be doled out in school and at home. Then there was always the threat of physical punishment. "The paddle" was displayed on more than one occasion. Although, I don't remember actually seeing anyone get hit with it.

I realize this is the kind of church, people probably don't like. The focus was somewhat "be good, or else." Good was defined by priests, sisters and parents. God was presented as somewhat vengeful. Yet, at the same time, this church was full of ceremonies and meaning. Baptism, First Holy Communion, Reconciliation and Confirmation were parts of our lives. Each sacrament was celebrated. We memorized prayers. We learned about Mary. We had ceremonies for May Crowning. Parishioners participated in the ceremonies.

When I reached 8th grade, it seemed like results of Vatican II finally came to the Chicago suburbs. The School Sisters of Notre Dame came into our school. The Sisters did not wear habits; they wore normal clothes. The convent became a mother house for the order, so there were actually Sisters who did not teach at the school living there. The CCD program was no longer taught by the school teachers, but there was a director for CCD. A couple years earlier we had gotten a new pastor. Parishioners seem to have some kind of voice in the parish.

Meanwhile on a personal level, the home life was messed up. My mother became the sole income earner in a large family. As a family of young ladies, we learned that you could not depend on anyone except yourself.

I attended an all girls Catholic High School. Another group of sisters taught there, the Dominicans. Religion was no longer just memorizing prayers, rituals, preparing for sacraments and the Bible. We took classes in morality and Christian lifestyles. We learned our conscious was our guide. Christian lifestyles meant you became a religious, married or stayed single. I don't remember hearing anything about careers in the church for women.

College followed. I attended a private non religious university. Most of the time I still attended mass at the Newman Center or the local parish. Basically, I just attended church. That is basically how it went until I had children. Meanwhile, my family was still in the same parish I grew up in. My mother was part of a parish pastoral council. Something that was unheard of when I was living at home. I had a sister who taught at the school, we attended. The pastor told one of my sisters who was pregnant for a second time out of wedlock, that she was an embarrassment to our family. This sister attended mass regularly with her baptized child. She married the father of her children and have been married for ten years now. No one in our family was embarrassed by her, but obviously this priest that we should have been.

My oldest child was born via an emergency c-section. My in-laws tried to get hold of a priest at their parish (I now belong to this parish). No priest would come out to baptize the baby. The chaplain at the hospital baptized her. So much for serving the parishioners, if you weren't looking for someone from 9 to 5.

When we went to join a parish we joined the very parish my in-laws belonged to, and the one my husband attended school at. We went to church. We didn't become active until our oldest daughter reached grade school. This parish has 60+ ministries, or at least it does on the book. The parish has something like 1700 families. On the books, it looks like a cool active parish. In reality, most of the work in the parish is done by the same 100 or so parishioners. I happen to be an officer in the women's group. Our women's group is large and active. When we get together with other women's groups within the archdiocese, our group is touted as an example. Our leaders are recruited to be leaders in the archdiocese. Within our parish, the women's group does a lot of work and receives little support.

So, I hope this explains why My View from the Pew is not always pleasant, and often frustrating. It can also be rewarding and peaceful. And it may explain why I often focus on the little things that happen on the parish and archdiocese level rather than doctrine and dogma. After all, most of us experience the church through our local parish. I do think the church needs to change. I just don't think it will happen until the local level changes.